Life Worth Living Notes

28 minute read

I began reading the book: Life Worth Living - A guide to what matters most by Miroslav Volf et al. In this book it focus on the Question and trying to put forth was is important in your life. At the end of each chapter there is a place to answer some prompts to reflect on what you read so this “blog” if you will are some of the answers to these prompts. Over time this page should get longer and it is where my mind is at in this current date. This blog is moreso meant for me but feel free to read into whats going on in my head!

Prelude Questions (July 18, 2023):

Body

How is my body?

At the current moment my body is in good shape but I want to get it better. After just climbing Mt. Fuji, I want to be in even greater shape and start my next chapter of life having a true “summer bod”. One year ago I was very skinny and fragile after moving to Europe but I now want to be both strong in the mind and body.

What are my dominant emotions?

As of late, I feel a sense of exhaustion but also a surge of ambition. Its been a fun year and I want to keep this up.

What thoughts have been occupying your mind?

I want to fall in love again. In March I had a conversation with my friend Mohammed who was moments away from proposing to his girlfriend. I hadn’t thought too much of marriage to that point but it was a high priority for me to try and find the love of my life. And since for once I have an abundance of free time, its been hard to focus on important things and so I therefore have been thinking a whole lot about my dating life.

Time

What is your daily schedule like?

Recently I was laid off so its been relatively slow for me. For once I have nothing really to do so I’ve been reading, blogging, looking for housing, and working out a ton. But in comparison to my usual self, I will say this version of me has been a healthy yet least productive version.

What event regualarly appear on a weekly, monthly, yearly basis?

weekly: meetings and anime shows coming out on specific days (Horimiya, Rent a Girlfriend, Liar Liar, Girl who lost her Glasses, Mushoku Tensei)

monthly: a change in weather to colder days

yearly: a relfection of the growth I experienced in the past year hopefully feeling a sense of fullfillment for the growth witnessed.

How much time is unscheduled? What time do you give yourself for rest? social connection? spiritual practice?

Unscheduled time: A mixture of never and all the time. Most of my life is unscheduled in definition but I usually have some sort of routine I follow making it feel scheduled

Given to Myself: Usually never but right now as of today, too much time

Social Connection: Usually all the time but very scarce lately

Spiritual Practice: Never

Money

What are your largest regular expenses?

A little too much on leisure and going out for food. Also just spent a boat load of money on vacation in Japan.

Who do you spend money on?

This has somewhat become a problematic issue but I am too easy in offering to pay for people I have just met. Especially when they are girls I go out on dates with. Trying to get better at this..

What do you splurge on?

Travel.

To what sort of organizations do you donate?

To support my friends running small businesses or if it is for a genuine cause where my money is making a true impact (e.g. a charity fashion show at Harvard)

Attention

Whats the first thing you listen to, read, or consider when you wake up? What websites do you frequent?

I usually listen to ESPN in the morning or read the texts that I missed because I don’t stay up too late. In terms of websites, I often start my day visiting Twitter.

Which apps on your phone do you use most frequently?

Twitter

Whose voices and opinions are most present to you? What are they saying?

In sports: Stephan A. Smith, JJ Redick

In education: Veritasium YT channel, Bojan Tungus (Twitter), Prof. Steve Brunton, Fred Davis (Work)

In Social Media: idk

What are they saying: They said something well enough to the point that I will listen to them. It isn’t everyone who gets my attention

Whats the last thing you listen to, read, or consider before going to bed?

I listen to Trash taste podcast, read/text my friends/dates.

Orienting Emotions:

What are your greatest hopes for yourself? For your community? For the world

Myself: Find something that Im passionate about for a long time. Find someone that I can love, and get the right amount of recognition for being a person who wants to help as many people as they can within their limitations. I’m not superman but I can try my best to touch the hearts of many. Live in NYC one day.

Community: Hopefully in my work, I can positively impact a field of research/niche that needs discoveries to be made. Also just be a role model + inspiration to my friends and network I have established.

World: Live in a society that is happy with little conflict. Take care of Earth.

What are your greatest fears?

Not finding something I am passionate about and not meeting the love of my life. I hope I never tell myself that I am bored once I finish school and work for decades, and I hope I don’t regret the person I marry.

What brings you joy?

Being apart of another persons story. Life is so crazy in concept and however I can be integrated into another persons story brings me great joy. I hope from these experiences spent with many people, that I leave a lasting and positive impression.

What are your sources of peace?

Music and writing

What memories trigger responses of regret or dissapointment? What memories trigger responses of delight and satisfaction?

Regret & Dissapointment: public PDA and people that make it known they are happy in a relationship. Seeing people who are having fun without me aka FOMO

Delight & Satisfaction: Seeing people have genuine smiles, reflecting about my life, looking back on old photos

Part I: Diving In

Chapter 1: Whats Worth Wanting? (July 19, 2023)

Think back nonjudgementally over the last few days. What questions have been on your mind?

What should I do today? - effectiveness

How do I make it onto the Forbes 30 under 30? - self-awareness

What is important in my life? - self transedence

Stepping back, at what layer do you feel most comfotable? Where do you like to spend your time? Do any of the layers of reflection make you afraid?

I think majority of the time I am spending my life in the self-awareness layer. The “What do we really want?” question I think is something I think about pretty often which sometimes throws me into a frenzy. I like to spend my time I think one layer above in the effectivess where we try to justify our day to day. And the self trascendence layer definitely scares me because you can’t really assess your life until your close to the end. Its a little too real for me as well.

How does the idea that there might be a true answer to the Question sit with you? Are you prone to asumming that your answers are the true ones or to thinking every answer must be equally right?

I don’t believe it. I don’t think there is a true answer to the question. Life is changing too much to be a true answer. I don’t know how to answer the second question to be quite frank. I think they are all equally right (?)

Chapter 2: Where are we starting from? (July 19, 2023)

Admiration

Think about one or two people you deeply admire. Go ahead and jot down their name.

Rosie Ngyuen

What do you admire about them? Is it their achievements? Their character? Their fortune? Their happiness?

Truth is I just learned about this person today in greater detail but I admire their journey in their life. I just read a speech she wrote at Upenn of her upbringing and the true hardships she faced throughout her life. Yet she gets through this adversity and founded a social media platform while retaining a very personable character presence online. You can read it here here.

As far as you can tell, does “long happy, healthy” describe their lives?

I think shes 24 right now so long cant be addressed. And I also don’t think happy is always present either. Oftentimes on social media she posts typical daily struggles and “shitposts” about their bad mental health. But I think its her ability to capture humility and empathy that makes it easy to follow? And to address healthy… No. Mental health is apart of health and it appears she struggles immensely from her online presence and openness.

As far as you can tell does “long happy, healthy” describe their answer to the Question?

She wants to bring her family out of poverty so, I think yes. She wants for them to live long, be happy, and be healthy among all things.

Envy

Think about one or two people you envy? Go ahead and jot down their name.

Melanie Volz

What do you envy about them?

She lives a cool life. Her story is also inspiring and I feel lucky to have crossed paths very temporarily with a person like her.

As far as you can tell, does “long happy, healthy” describe their lives?

I think so. I can’t really infer the long, but she is happy and healthy.

As far as you can tell does “long happy, healthy” describe their answer to the Question?

Again I think so. Shes a smart kid and I think she is a well composed human being who has a great sense of balance in her life. So yes (?)

Walgreens Vision

What if anything do you find attractive about the “long, happy, healthy” view of the good life?

I think its a good model of three important pillars in a life. And I liked how in the chapter, you could live a good life without one or two of them.

What if anything do you find to be lacking from it? Where does it leave you wanting something deeper, richer, or fuller?

I agree that its too simple of a model.

What might you value more than a long, happy, healthy life?

Perhaps stability. This is a genuinely good question though.

Part II: The Depths

Chapter 3: Who do we answer to? (July 23, 2023)

To whom does the person you see from the prologue answer? What sources of responsibility seem to lie behind your life as you currently live it?

I answer to myself. I try to give myself a meaning to life and to enjoy a life I’d like to remember

Who should we answer to? To whom or to what are you ultimately responsible? When you think about not just one or another choice but about the shape of your life as a whole, whol perspective ultimately counts in assessing whether youre living a life worthy of our shared humanity?

I think answering to yourself or a future version of yourself helps. I like to use the analogy of chasing a ghost or the person we envision to be. We are responsibile for giving ourselves a meaning to a meaningless world. I don’t think you can assess whether your life is worthy at my age. Those days are yet to come and I’ll make that decision when I get there.

How do your answers to question 1 and 2 line up? Are you living in light of responsibility you recognize? If not how would your life be different?

I think my answers line up in the sense that I answer to myself. It used to be my parents back in the past but I’ve come to an age where you have to benchmark the life YOU want for yourself.

Chapter 4: How does the good life feel? (July 23, 2023)

What kinds of connections can you discern between circumstances (in the world and in your life) and your oriented emotions?

Happy emotions lead to positive circumstances? Mindset can be everything and by hoping for the best, it can help change the perspective of a circumstance. For example a mistake can be seen as a learning experiene and not a mistake?

Where do you hope to see your emotional responses change?

I hope to continue to be engaged when talking for long durations. Sometimes I space out on people unintentionally which I think can cause conflict and show selfishness

What emotions do you desire to feel more often or more deeply?

Love. Recognition.

What feelings do you think characterize a genuinely good life?

I think the pleasure pain balance definitely was intruiging way of viewing a good life. I think we need both for a good life because one feeling cannot dominate. Life if life because of the balance of these two things so I think maybe a majority of pleasure mixed with some pain aim for a good life.

Do you think we can measure all our feelings according to how much pleasure or pain they include? Why or Why not?

No. Again this viewpoint is too simple to explain the complexities of life. But simple principles help us gage easily how we are able to see difficult concepts like a good life.

How much does it matter that your feelings connect with something true about the world.

I would like to think it is very important. After all humans are emotional beings so being emotionally connected to something may give us more meaning in our lives.

Chapter 5: What should we hope for? (July 24, 2023)

How many of the activities you invest your time in are aimed at acquiring money, power, skills that you can use to achieve whether your goals turn out to be?

Maybe all? To make progress don’t we have to aim for improvement of some sorts?

What kind of circumstantial goods do you purchase suggest you prioritize?

Convinience, and efficiency.

What should we hope for? What are genuinely good circumstances? How much is enough when it comes to these circumstances?

Maybe a good metric is looking at yourself in the mirror and judging the person that stands in front. We are often are hardest critics and we can use that to assess what we may be missing, and what makes good circumstances. For me good circumstances are sort of like the cruise example where I am unfortunately only concerned about myself. As much as I want to be like Paul and have good circumstances for everyone, it is beyond our control to make a utopian society. It would also ruin the essence of the world if everything was perfect and had good circumstances. I don’t think we will ever reach the enough. Like mentioned in Chapter 4, we are often chasing a “perfect” version of yourself. But that person is simply unattainable. But we can try our best to reach that form to continue to hope for better and live a good life.

Where should we set the horizon of our hopes? In other words, how universal do good circumstances need to be in order to be fully good?

My scope is that we have good circumstances for ourselves and ourselves only. Maybe this argument can be extended when you make a family but you only have control of your own ship. We want to form community and aim for a bigger good of good circumstances but if we were all the same, then we would lose our identity. I hope that all my friends and family have good circumstances but I can only control the scope of myself and myself only. That is my impression on life and what we hope for.

Chapter 6: How Should we live? (July 24, 2023)

What ends do they suggest you are seeking in exercising your agency?

I don’t really believe in the belief that i am doing something under someones orders (e.g. Abraham with God). I think I seek exercising my agency to figure out the things I do and don’t like. It was mentioned in the chapter how a good life is not a one size fits all. So at my stage in life, I am exercising my agency to figure things out

What standards seem to guide your conduct?

A mixture of guiding myself and being a humanitarian. I really love to help people but recently have been in the mindset that you can’t directly ever help people. I have been challenged in recent days from some stuff in my life and I realized I can only guide people but never really directly help them. But the standards I hold myself to are living a morally acceptable life behind good ethics.

What practically speaking, do you treat your forest?

A combination of selfishness and the humanitarian. I want to help people badly but can only do so much with my willpower.

How should we live?

What ends should we seek through our agency?

Possibly an answer to fullfillment. Whatever that may be. I described previously how by having free will, we are figuring stuff out.

What standards should we be held to?

Regardless of rage, beliefs, religion, I think there is a moral code that humans can live by. At the minimum this should be the standard

Who and what are in your forest?

Along with myself, I think I have established a community of 50 people, I don’t dirctly see all too often that i would help if needed. Help is once again a loose term but offering a piece of my mind to help them make decisions.

How do your answers from questions in items 1 and 2 line up.

Again I think they line up well.

Part III: Bedrock

Chapter 7: The Recipe Test (July 24, 2023

Go back over your answers to the exercises from the last three chapters

How do they fit together

I think from the examples from the chapter, I believe in a bit of stoicism, utilitarianism, and confucianism.

Where are there tensions and contradictions?

In previous answers I talk about how you can only control yourself and cant change others, but have a pretty humanitarian personality so I think it contradicts there. But I think having a blend of all these things as preached in Confucianism’s “the Way” might be the ideal philosophy I’d want.

Does one of the three aspects (agency, circumstance, affect) take priority in your vision, or do you try to balance them?

I try to balance them. They are all intertangled as described in the chapter.

Chapter 8: The Really Big Picture (July 25, 2023)

What traditions have shaped your sense of the really big picture?

Growing up, I went to church so maybe the ideas of Christianity. But also just following notable peoples lives and trying to live up to their standard.

What stories shape your sense of the world and your place in it?

Greek Mythology taught me alot of lessons, following the lives of famous scientists and inventors as well. From these stories I try to live a life similar to theres. Try to be as unique as possible.

What is the world to you? A vast universe? Gods creation? A network of mutual interdependence?

I think some form of a network of mutual interdependence. But I do think we are living in a world with no meaning where we try to give ourselves something to live for. This is the human experience.

How do you feel when you think about the world and your place in it?

I obviously feel small and insignificant and my ability to reach others and help them is how I contribute to the world.

What do you feel compelled to do when you think about the world in the context of the really big picture as you see it?

Trying to find this answer from the book.

What stories shape your sense of what it is to be human being?

Not sure but recently have had thoughts on how AI could never be human. Our lives are simply too complex and unique to be simulated by technology

What are human beings to you?

Weird question. Not a lot of thought. Maybe an evolutionary accident?

How do you feel when you think about human beings in the way you described?

Kind of terrible lol

How do you understand our relationship as humanbeings with nonhuman life?

Also terrible. I mean look at the status of our natural world

What do you feel compelled to do when you think about human beings in the context of the really big picture as you see it?

Try to leave the world in a better place than it was.

Part IV: Facing the Limits

Chapter 9: When We (Inevitably) Botch It

Think of a time when someone else’s personal failure affected you.

How did you respond? How did you want them to respond?

I was disappointed and let down. I want them to be apologetic and understanding of what they did wrong.

Think back to a time where you failed to live up to your own standards of yourself

How did you realize you had missed your mark? Was it through a moment of crisis? Called out?

I feel like usually I self discover what I did wrong which leads to the worst type of pain. Being called out is uncomfortable for the relationship but I think self-infliction hurts the most

Did you pause to learn the truth about the impact of your actions or did you rush to seek forgiveness?

Unfortunately I think I am always rushing to make things right

How much did you focus on repairing damaged relationships and making things right?

I think I always try to salvage a damaged relationship not to get what I lost but to dismiss our relationship at an agreement. Ideally we’d like to work these things out but it takes participation from both parties for a relationship to return to normalcy.

How much did you focus on doing better next time?

Alot of emphasis. A mistake is a great learning lesson. Just don’t repeat your mistakes.

How should we respond to our failures?

How much does repairing the harm of the past matter? Ought we to make amends and seek reconciliation with whomever we wronged or harmed?

I think its important to repair the harm of past matters. Especially if its of someone in a close circle, trying to repair something is a sign that you cared. I think the second question is situation dependent. In some cases, its hard to show your face and own up but if its a genuine mistake, seeking reconiciliation is a good thing.

Do we have the resources we need to refrain from falling into the same personal failures again, or do we need to seek help from beyond ourselves?

Situations can be dependent on context. For example if its a breakup after a series of minimal fights, there are just things you can’t control. But if its a repeated offense of the same thing, then you need to look innately at yourself and see where you can improve.

Chapter 10: When life Hurts… (July 25, 2023)

What is your instinctive response to your own pain? To the pain of others? How if at all, are these two responses different

Cry, overthink. When its others, feel a sense of pity or empathy depending on my own experience. One is objective action and one is non objective action.

What kind of responses to the worlds suffering do you have the most hope for?

Maybe a change in perspective. I think our biggest issue as human beings is being in disagreement with one another. We are so stubborn in our politics and point of views that it is harmful to our world.

What do you ought to do to alleviate the suffering of others?

Be a role model to the next generation. Talk with many people, hear them out, and tell them what you think.

Chapter 11: … And There’s No Fixing It (July 25, 2023)

Buddha

How did you feel as you read about the Buddha’s proposal that suffering ceases when we recognize the emptiness of the self and so cease craving?

I forgot where I read this, but in a philosophy course I learned that life is a world of suffering. By having children you bring these new lives into a world of suffering. Its not the first time I have heard this view that suffering ends, when we realize we are empty creatures. In fact as mentioned in previous prompts, life has no meaning, and a craving is simply a desire to feel stimulated which is opposite to what Buddha was trying to achieve

Is it comforting to think that perhaps theres a grand plan for the world’s suffering? Is it troubling to think that God might cause or permit suffering? Why?

I think its part of the human experience. Whether you believe in God or not, a lot of the same principles of duality are shared in many religions, ideologies, philosophies. Good/Bad, Yin/Yang, Fair/Unfair, it is embedded into a lot of these places. Therefore I think having duality is simply a part of the human experience and there is no way to have just one without the other. Sort of like I read in this chapter. If we diminish happinness, sadness diminishes too.

Do you think the truth about suffering is more likely to be comforting or troubling? What reasons can you give for your answers?

Again suffering is a normal part of the human experience. I don’t think its neither comforting or troubling but just the way life is.

Does thinking about suffering as an occasion for growth belittle the pain? Alternatively does it offer a path to meaning and value?

I think it is true. Suffering/Mistakes/Inconveniences are all learning lessons. We can question “Why me” when something bad occurs but you grow from these situations. Whether its death, or another form of loss. Humans are built off experiences and we learn how to handle stuff by actively doing it. Suffering does also provide extra meaning and value to the things in life!

Have you ever found yourself in Job’s Position - protesting suffering you can neither overcome nor understand?

There have of course been moments where I was “down bad” and wondered if life would ever get better. However life isn’t fair and it helped me realize that even the best people in the world can be punished for no reason.

How much do you think it matters to understand suffering?

I think its very important. Theres an argument about being closed off versus being experienced and I think experience always beat people who are sheltered and protected from the dangers. If you don’t understand suffering, like everyones first experience, it will only hurt more.

Chapter 12: When It Ends (July 26, 2023)

Which future oriented projects and relationships are meaningful to you?

Some of the work I do in grad school, I hope has big meaning. In terms of relationships, I cherish all the friends I have crossed paths with in the past year or so. I think as of now I’m focusing on meeting people with the potential of seeing a long term future with.

If it were true - if it is true - that death is nothing because life is nothing (as Bhat Hanh says), how would your life have to change?

To be honest I sort of believe in this so I just try to enjoy and appreciate every day I am alive

Whether you believe in it, do you think eternal life would be desireable?

No. Life is precious because it is finite. Moments are special because they are constrained by time. Life would be more boring if you knew everything and everyone was going to remain the same. Change is great and I think death is a critical component of change. Therefore I have no desire for an eternal life.

What would be worth dying for?

Maybe providing a better life for my children. Or maybe if it was an ideology so strong and just that it would be worth fighting for (Civil Rights, Women’s rights, etc.)

Part 5 Back to the Surface

Chapter 13: It turns out we have some work to do (July 26, 2023)

What insights do you have into the nature or shape of flourishing life?

No clue. Figuring this out now

What insights did you bring with you to this book? What new insights have you had? What new hunches are your forming

Again I didn’t bring insights into this book. Just came with an open mind. I’ve definitely been able to read many perspectives on life and some worth exploring more in detail (The analects, Bhagta Ghita), Just trying to not form hunches until reading it through.

How have the insights you brought with you been deepended? Challenged? Altered?

Which comes more naturally to you: Speaking passionately about what you think is right or acting on what you believe?

I think a mixture of both. I used to act on what I believe because I didn’t like talking to people but now I really like discussions and will speak my mind depending on what the subject is.

What practices do you already have in your life that give some of your key values the sort of resilience that Jesus and the rabbis talk about?

I’d like to think all my effort into school and work is leading me to a bigger goal of discovery and progress.

What insights about the good life have you had for a while that you haven’t acted on yet? In what areas of your life are you in danger of growing comfortable in knowing you should do but refusing to act on that knowledge?

Maybe getting married? Being completely free meaning I have completed all I could and will begin to pave my own path from then. I think in some aspects I am already growing comfortable after reaching a degree of success but I have to just tell myself to keep going higher I guess.

Chapter 14: Change is Hard (July 26, 2023)

How do you want to change your way of life in response to a new or deepended insight about flourishing life?

Live everyday fully and hopefully be in good spirits.

What is likely to resist that change?

Life is also naturally stressful, I am aware that it can deter me from my goal.

Waht about the world is likely to resist change?

Maybe the standards or criteria of some things I want to achieve. I have to be the best version of myself.

What strategy are you going to adopt to try to overcome the resistance you face from your world and from yourself?

Discipline and a clear and stable mind.

Chapter 15: Making It Stick (July 26, 2023)

Whats one practice you can commit to in order to take an important step toward living as you believe you are responsible to live?

Asking for help when I need help. Both in a technical and emotional aspect

Who in your life could help keep you accountable?

I think the people I have met throughout my life. The way I present myself is the standard that I wish to retain and exceed. If I come off as an amazing person to them, it is my duty to keep that up.

Do you have a community of people who share the most important broad aspects of your vision of flourishing life?

Maybe not totally in line but I do think I have a sense of community that give me a flourishing life. But diversity for me is important to continue to hear other perspectives.

Who do you talk with about what matters most? Are there people you regularly disagree with?

I like to talk to Saiyang Liu or Bradley Tait. No bias because they aren’t directly involved. But moreso they will tell me things in an honest form. Not validating me but comforting me is a true friend to talk to.

What intentional steps might you take to go deeper with a friend who has a very different vision of a flourishing life?

I don’t know but this is something I want to explore. I hope my next partner is very different and that we can find a harmony together to make it work.

If you have two rather distinct group of friends, some with whom you have greater alignment and some with whom you have less, what might you do to connect these two groups? What kinds of conversations would you want to have? How could you create opportunities for these groups to learn from one another?

I think the connecting point is me, and bringing them in a space of comfort. Idealy the conversations and opportunities I’d like to have is to have an open mind and try to gain something valuable from one another. Maybe they hear something new and they look to adopt something new in their lives.

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Simon Lee