Life is All about Balance
I’ve had a lot time lately to reflect alone, leading to the realization of a fundamental flaw in my character. Yet, recognizing and diagnosing issues is, in my opinion, far more crucial than succumbing to delusion. Thus, I’ve acknowledged that my life lacks balance—some aspects are quite literally “under the hood,” beyond my immediate grasp, while others remain well within my control, offering opportunities for personal improvement.
Life, I believe, is like the stock market, where your ‘stock’ represents youh. External factors like success can inflate your value, and the converse is equally true. When things spiral out of control, they become challenging to manage for vastly different reasons. My life, it seems, has followed a singular trajectory, shaped significantly by events, particularly post-COVID in 2022. This was when I knew inherently that I wanted to transform my lifestyle and daily interactions, aiming to optimize my time and immerse myself in new experiences continuously. Moving to Switzerland at that juncture provided the perfect opportunity for this transformation. Subsequently, my travels from Boston back to LA introduced me to many new first-time experiences. Having been reserved most of my life, these experiences were part of a conscious pursuit of growth. Over the last two years, I’ve lived with the freedom I always envisioned, doing what I wanted when I wanted. However, uncertainties about my career ultimately led me to pursue a Ph.D. to find answers.
Returning to LA felt like a loss of control. The excitement of daily life waned as the routine of academic schedules clashed with my desire for novelty. Despite this, the rarity of achieving a Ph.D.—a feat accomplished by less than 1% of the population motivates me to endure these sacrifices. My initial return to Los Angeles was great, marked by happiness and the support of Collette who taught me contentment in stability. I am grateful for these moments we were able to share.
But now, I am back at square one and alone in the city. However, I remain hopeful. With adjusted expectations and a clear prioritization of my goals, I am determined to maintain balance in my life, mitigating the lows and not just celebrating the highs, to sustain a stable and fulfilling existence. I think one thing that is going to be super important is not be able to inflate my ego. I need to go searching for my mind from 2022 when I had zero and just humbly accept the good things that happen to me. However in an equal sense, I should not think of myself too low and get comfortable thinking I am not enough.
But again balance is everything. And I hope I can learn to find this balance within myself soon. So this again will be a reinvention stage where I am likely going to change once more. I will be better, do better, and try to make everyone around me happy by finding happiness within myself.